"Us" and "Them"

Us and Them

So, analyzing the way I think, which is based on what I believe I see, sometimes from this couch, sometimes out in the world, I notice that one big thing that gets to me is intentional, self-protective division, not "dissent", "division." It seems to me quite primitive to lump people into categories based on what we think we know of them. For some people, fear of others reaches such a level that anyone who does not fit into a very narrow definition of "us" is relegated to the category of "them," and is therefore suspect.

Long ago I realized that the concept of "judgment" as in judging other people and their choices and their lives doesn't work for me. It follows then that neither does the concept of "blame." My contention about both of those is that we can never know enough or go back far enough to establish cause to be absolutely sure that we are right. Oh, we may THINK we are right, and I have certainly been there, but years of looking back at situations with new information have shown me that I didn't know what I didn't know. Try doing a jigsaw puzzle that has no shape and no picture so you really don't know what pieces are missing.

If I'm not going to judge people and/or blame them, how am I going to get through a day that cries out for both of those just to make me feel comfortable? I can judge a situation, maybe, and I can hold people responsible, maybe, but even those are flawed endeavors. Sometimes, though, common sense demands that you judge risk and the likelihood that someone might put you at risk. However, I can live with those compromises for safety's sake.

I can't live with putting people in categories because they look a certain way or because some spinmeister makes a case or even because I see someone doing something I wouldn't. I don't know these people's hearts. I leave that to God. I don't know at all where they fit into His plan. One example that comes to mind is the hated atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair, whom I know only from her writing and tv appearances, many times on Phil Donahue's show. (OMG, I still have the couch from those days too. Please don't judge me for having old stuff.) Anyway, I often thought that there was a possibility that O'Hair was walking a path that God had chosen for her, despite her rejection of Him and anyone's ideas about Him. He's a pretty clever deity. I wouldn't put it past Him to set up a sort of Devil's Advocate, love her cooperation in His set-up, and welcome her to heaven at the end. Who's to say? And that's my point. Who's to say?. But in certain circles, she definitely fell into the "them" category. I didn't like her personality, but so what?

As to blame, well, for some people there is no difference between guilt and responsibility. To me, the differences include intention and mental ability and physical condition and some others that we don't yet have the science to know. Do I think George W Bush and his administration are responsible for a lot of what the USA looks like now? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean I blame him. "We're tired of the blame game." Okay...no blaming, but what about responsibility? He didn't have the capacity to do a good job, maybe, but he chose to do it. In my mind he's not blameworthy for not knowing what he didn't know, but he is responsible for whatever conscious decisions he made. Had it all turned out better, the concept under discussion would be "praise" rather than "blame", but in either case he would be responsible.

Someone I know very well is serving time. He probably doesn't care whether he is blamed, and I think he probably wouldn't argue with those who call him whatever "them" name, but he does care about taking responsibility for what he did and trying to redeem himself. It's part of his faith walk. I get that. It's also part of his humanity.

If we are going to get along with each other in a world where many different interests must be served, we really need to figure out what concepts help us be our best selves, when someone is watching and when no one is. I vote we abandon judgment and blame and don't argue with the people who say we are practicing those. Lots of people don't think. "We" and "they" are easier for them. Maybe that's part of the plan for them.