Curb? What curb?

Can we talk? I have noticed a delicacy in some people's speech that I think really needs to be addressed. You hear a lot of this caution about offensive speech on call-in information-type shows on NPR, particularly if the shows concern animals or gardens. We're not talking Howard Stern here. You get the sense that some people don't want to admit the existence of bodily waste, not only with respect to animals, but definitely with respect to human life. I'm thinking that in some segments of society there's a real reluctance to admit how bodies work, even with the constant reminders we all naturally receive. Maybe this is why prunes are now known as "dried plums."

And yet a significant amount of attention and speculation was given the recent problem with "the facilities" on the Space Shuttle, not to mention the many ads on tv and elsewhere about bathroom emergencies and how to prevent them. There's definitely societal ambivalence around this topic. Some people are very concerned with being judged "not nice" if they speak even appropriate truths, while at the other end of the continuum are those who seize on the possible shock value of anything to do with excrement. And I just suddenly remembered an internal cleansing infomercial that was shown on WTOC the other day. Those men had no compunctions about going all the way there in description and discussion. I was horribly fascinated by their daring until I found the remote.

But the following is mostly for the NPR-info-call-in-type people: It is very, very rare for dogs and cats to "use the rest room". They take care of their needs in places that they choose, and few are instinctively drawn to tile and chrome. Many just relieve themselves out in the open in front of God and everybody. We all know what is being discussed, and in this age of graphic sex tapes and all kinds of out-there description, why can't we just admit that our pets need to urinate or defecate? Or take the "nice" way and say they need to relieve themselves? Curbing one's dog means guiding Rover to the edge of the street so he can do what he's called to do and one can clean up after him and no hallowed grass or tree is threatened. If we are talking about doggy relief, the curbing part doesn't work in a sentence like, "Please don't curb your dog on the beach" for the simple reason that streets and curbs aren't typical beach features. In fact, if you consider that the verb "to curb" by itself is synonymous with "to limit", there is every reason to curb one's dog on the beach.