Don't say much

"Speak low, speak slow, don't say much. And don't wear suede shoes." Advice from The Duke. Michael Caine says that John Wayne conveyed those words of wisdom to him. The first part is totally in John Wayne character as we remember it, but the second sentence reveals a very practical side. The idea is that if a famous man is found standing at a urinal, the guy next to him forgets what he's doing and pees on the star's shoes. So suede is a mistake. Since Pat Boone of white buck shoe fame is scheduled to participate in this year's Celebrity Golf Tournament on Hilton Head, I'm hoping to get to ask him about what his experience has been. I'll let y'all know. We may never know about Elvis and the blue suedes. Probably they were dark blue though.

In other, much more disturbing, film news we learn that Senator Phil Gramm, the same Phil Gramm who is (or was) associated with the McCain for President team, tried unsuccessfully to invest in a movie called "Truck Stop Women" that carried the slogan "No Rig Was Too Big For Them To Handle." Uh-huh! However, all was not lost. Gramm DID later get to invest in something called "White House Madness" that included a portrayal of an unhinged and nude President Richard M Nixon. I need a shower.

OK, those are both from days of yore, but how about this: Yesterday, on The View there was an actress named Diane Farr, about whom I know (make that knew) nothing, who shared with us that her husband's Korean family and her Irish and Italian family don't have a lot in common. What she said about her in-laws is that Koreans tend to be insular, something about small countries thinking they could get their butt kicked by other countries, but that when her husband was thirty-five he got to make his own decision and anyway the in-laws were pleased that she had a working vagina. What? I'm thinking that maybe they'll forgive her because she IS pregnant with twins and that pregnancy apparently happened when their first child, who was conceived on their honeymoon, was ten months old. Man, I needed to know all that.